Back To A Safe Haven

A safe haven can be an actual place, or a feeling you get when with your safe person or your pet, or even with a memory.

It's where you feel safe enough to be yourself.

When there's someplace to come back to, then going away is possible.

Leaving your safe haven is half of a movement toward -- because in order to "come back" from anything you must first depart. This is the rhythm of any biological cycle: toward and away. Back and forth. Up and down.

Practicing going away can be as simple as lifting up a foot, moving away from the earth. Or breathing in, allowing the out-breath to return naturally. Turning your gaze away, pausing, coming back to look with renewed focus.

Sometimes going away is really important for growth. Like when the place that was supposed to be safe was not. No way to be sure what to trust, when you were not protected there.

So feeling safe enough in some places, or with certain people, might never be easy.

Here is one of my favorites: this is Johnson's Pasture, open land in the hills up above town.

When I'm working with an individual to restore regulation in the body's response to stress, one way we start out is exploring what feels safe enough in the moment. We start with this question so that we can "go away" -- and come back soon. Very soon! Sometimes as an example we'll "come back" even before the next breath. That's because the lightning-fast responses of our nervous system change our feelings from safe-to-scary in an instant. And... back!

What would your safe place or person be, as you define that?

Let me know if you'd like to explore this question together. I'm listening.